I was born with five hands. I would have had such a glorious circus career...Butchers decide to cut off 12-fingered and 12-toed boy's digits
Picture: scragz
8.30.2007
humanity is evolving
I was born with five hands. I would have had such a glorious circus career...Butchers decide to cut off 12-fingered and 12-toed boy's digits
Picture: scragz
China kills our kids!
The Chinese Gov't is continuing its secret campaign to poison our children.Crayons from China recalled because of excessive lead
Picture: chefranden
8.29.2007
Obama conspiracy?
I bet Hillary feels left out.Karl Rove's car has been vandalized, in an extremely non-threatening way
Picture: CommandZed
Pepto won't cut it.
I can't handle spicy Indian food, and I was right - Indian stomachs can take anything.
Indian man stalls extradition by swallowing a knife
Picture: tanakawho
Dog food made of gold!
He shall be bathed in dragon tears, his nails trimmed with Elvis' trimmers, his teeth cleaned with a brush made of hair from U.S. Presidents!Woman leaves dog $12 million in will, only gives money to 2/4 grandchildren
Picture: BabyParentingGuide
8.28.2007
8.27.2007
Raccoon entrails. And drama.
Let's wrap the intestines around the welcome mat, yeah just like that. Now put the head in the middle. Perfect.Wiccan feud involves entrails on doorsteps
Picture: CodyR
Strippers don't take monopoly money
Man crosses "Go" and gets $1400 dollars, several lap dances.Man prints Hamiltons on his computer. And wow, gets caught.
Picture: yomanimus
8.24.2007
Irish people are freaks
I want to see a picture of this dude. He looks like a troll, I just know it.It "tasted lovely."
Man headbutts girlfriend, then bites off the head of her pet snake
Picture: robbie jim
Grapes served with a side of justice
The judge threw something right back at her.... the law!
booyah.
Crazy player hater pelts school board with grapes.
Picture: Zest-pk
8.23.2007
Things we don't want to know
Continuing with our "old people" streak - here's something that will make you see grandma in a new light.She's a skank.
Old people more sexually active than anyone ever ever wants to think about, EVER
Picture: said&done
How far does alcohol breath carry?
It carried this guy all the way to court. BAZIIING!Judge will decide if cop could really smell man's alcohol breath 7 feet away, and through a wall
Picture: Lynt
Old people furious!
You have to fight for your right to eat moldy doughnuts.No matter how old you are. Damn ageist bastards, trying to take their day-old sweets. I ought to cane them.
Old people defend their right to eat whatever the hell they want to eat
Picture: Valerie Renee
You're never too old...
... to make dumb decisions.I regret stopping playing with playdoh. Maybe I should go back...
59 year-old is playing college football
Picture: Richelleantipolo
8.22.2007
Those damn Japanese hippies
If we could turn discarded lipo-fat into fuel, we'd be set.
Japan contemplates converting chopsticks into biofuel
Picture: dbdbrobot
Barbie is a skank...
...and Mattel will have to learn to deal with that.Porn Barbie is sued by Mattel
Picture: LittleGoldWoman
Cat genocide
Why are some people so gross? THEY should be euthanized.76 cats found in disgusting apartment
Picture: kevindooley
8.21.2007
Japanese Robot Attack!
Spokesperson expresses surprise and sexism: "The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it."Those who were injured are now quite publicly shamed.
Japanese arm-wrestling machine recalled for breaking arms
Picture: soggydan
Bathrooms are overrated
I often soil myself, too.Stop judging!
Man complains about urine-soaked seat in casino
Picture: liberalmind1012
Glad to be an American
...where at least I know my alphabet.Chinese village experiences bad fortune, as computers can't process its name
Picture: Roland
8.20.2007
Bear Attack!
He got drunk and beared it all.Man found naked and dead in Serbian zoo's bear cage. Beer festival blamed.
Picture: ShellieRaney
Old lady forgotten about. Nothing new here.
"She may have died," Amormino said. "It just seems to be a terrible oversight."72 year-old accidentally locked in bank. She almost died without her diabetes medication.
Old people are like little kids - reminds me of this story
Picture: Jams_123
New moon, same old drunk witches
She was drunk, wearing headphones, burning tires, and in her underwear. But remember, "Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons."42 year old witch arrested for performing obnoxious Wiccan ritual
Picture: NetLancer2006
Virginia is for gangstas
I think they should keep it. Balance out the cuteness with some badass overtones.Virginia changes ad campaign, because it mimics "gang sign"
Picture: Vortistic
8.17.2007
Clones!
I smell conspiracy.
Woman has identical quadruplets, AKA secret gov't experiment is revealed
Picture: soundman1024
Girl has no friends
Thanks mom, for telling the Associated Press that I'm a loser.8 year-old girl tries to escape hurricane on bike, fails
Picture: GISuser.com
Samurai white trash
I'm going to stab you with my samurai sword replica, donchyaknow.
Wisconsin couple holds up convenience store with sword
Picture: Coyote Jack
Chinese people are as crazy as us
I've always been a fan of ampersands... but the "@" symbol? That's barbaric.
Chinese couple attempt to name child, "@"
Picture: Old Sarge
Don't eat and drive
The first time I read it, I thought it said, "it was a nonfat incident"harhar
Man saved by seatbelt heimlich
Picture: Ebruli
8.16.2007
This woman is cracked
The police were very unhelpful, in my opinion.Woman complains to cops that the cocaine she bought was fake
Picture: the_kid_cl
It's time for change!
I'm glad his protest annoyed the right people - minimum wage local gov't workers and fellow taxpayers. He's getting things done!Man fights the power: he pays his taxes in coins and $1 bills
Picture: Jeff Belmonte
New Delhi plans new deli treat
I prefer human soup - there's more meat on the cheeks.New Delhi city councillor proposes sending stray dogs to Korea, to be made into soup
Picture: VirtualErn
Meanie with hatchet
"Should we attack this animal?""Aye!" said the hatchet man.
"Neeeiigggh" said the horse.
Horse OK after getting hatchet between the eyes
Picture: Benimoto
8.15.2007
I'm going to hell
Is it bad that I cracked up at the image of the woman tossing the gasoline tank out the window, and missing?
It spread the fuel "everywhere."
Lawnmower explosion + house = no house
Picture: Tom Chambers
A new Robin Hood!
He steals from the rich, gives to himself, and kills cops. But it's ok, because he only kills cops to avoid being arrested.He's pretty much a hero.
Modern Robin Hood finally caught
Picture: lanuiop
Fight duct tape with duct tape
This picture is not entirely accurate, as he chose not to steal liquor or cash, but rather - two rolls of CHANGE.Duct tape bandit caught, now stuck in jail
Picture: zzzack
Polly wants justice!
"I was cutting up papayas for him, and I went to feed him," Morrone said, "and the cage was empty."45 parrots stolen from New York parrot store
Picture: jmax@flickr
8.14.2007
Cat attacked!
This dude took Bob Barker a little too seriously.Man castrates ex's cat with box cutters
Picture: Liam Higginson
run forest [creatures] run
If I know anything about New Jersey rivers - it's that you don't put animals in there as an act of MERCY.The poor critters.
Buddhists set Eels and Frogs free, so they can fulfill their Karmic potential
Picture: Nerelle Ring
Someone's not getting any
I'd love to see the tape of this conversation.Cop pulls over his wife, also a cop, for DUI
Picture: Brad Lindert
I hate being jealous
He must have an 80 pound, wildly aggressive, cancerous tumor growing inside him. Luck has to balance out, right? ....right?Man wins big in the lottery - again
Picture: Lazy Lightning
I'm surprised kids aren't extinct
What a headline if no one had realized he was locked in - "Skeleton found in safe at Sam's club"Boy locks himself in safe at Sam's club
Picture: Rob Pongsajapan
8.13.2007
Man hides from his piers
I guess he didn't want to get in trouble for being nude, so he let the search go for hours.Man hides under pier (why?) as coast guard tries to find him
Picture: flyfshrman98
Please... you're not punny!
This story is not remarkable for its content, but rather, for the sickening joy every person interviewed took in their witty use of the English language.Weinermobile receives parking ticket
Picture: Shawn Allen
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