11.07.2007

HAH! It's not an American!

It's the videogames! They should be banned, I say, banned!

British kid hires hitman to kill his mom because she took away his Playstation 3


Picture: MNgilen

Paper Cut!

Origami that puts your napkin folding to shame.

This guy must be so boring.









Picture: Chrys Omori

Knife Attack!

Army dude got his head stabbed in Iraq.

Don't worry, he's fine - and headed back soon!






Picture: mnsc

11.05.2007

Flux capacitor? <--way too clunky

Finally, a Chronotheric Fluxing Capacitron for the home!

Keep your Delorean in the garage, sonny.




Picture: gavinandrewstewart

Vishnu Reincarnated?

... or a giant human/spider?

You decide.

8-limbed girl!








Picture: rightiswrong

9.04.2007

Promiscuous one-legged man

Testicles the size of grapefruits. A libido the size of a watermelon. The brain of a child.

60 year-old man shoots for 100 kids by 2015... 78 down, 22 to go.


Picture: Peterastn

8.30.2007

humanity is evolving

I was born with five hands. I would have had such a glorious circus career...

Butchers decide to cut off 12-fingered and 12-toed boy's digits

Picture: scragz

China kills our kids!

The Chinese Gov't is continuing its secret campaign to poison our children.

Crayons from China recalled because of excessive lead

Picture: chefranden

8.29.2007

Obama conspiracy?

I bet Hillary feels left out.

Karl Rove's car has been vandalized, in an extremely non-threatening way









Picture: CommandZed

Pepto won't cut it.


I can't handle spicy Indian food, and I was right - Indian stomachs can take anything.

Indian man stalls extradition by swallowing a knife







Picture: tanakawho

Dog food made of gold!

He shall be bathed in dragon tears, his nails trimmed with Elvis' trimmers, his teeth cleaned with a brush made of hair from U.S. Presidents!

Woman leaves dog $12 million in will, only gives money to 2/4 grandchildren




Picture: BabyParentingGuide

8.28.2007

8.27.2007

Raccoon entrails. And drama.

Let's wrap the intestines around the welcome mat, yeah just like that. Now put the head in the middle. Perfect.


Wiccan feud involves entrails on doorsteps

Picture: CodyR

Strippers don't take monopoly money

Man crosses "Go" and gets $1400 dollars, several lap dances.

Man prints Hamiltons on his computer. And wow, gets caught.



Picture: yomanimus

8.24.2007

Irish people are freaks

I want to see a picture of this dude. He looks like a troll, I just know it.

It "tasted lovely."

Man headbutts girlfriend, then bites off the head of her pet snake
Picture: robbie jim

um... uber-expensive Lederhosen


But why?

$142,000 diamond-studded Lederhosen






Picture: jurvetson

Grapes served with a side of justice


The judge threw something right back at her.... the law!

booyah.

Crazy player hater pelts school board with grapes.





Picture: Zest-pk

Spaghetti is good, but meatballs are great!

Meatballs + Marijuana = Betrayal!

Detective fired after wife spiked his meatballs





Picture: Benimoto

8.23.2007

Things we don't want to know

Continuing with our "old people" streak - here's something that will make you see grandma in a new light.

She's a skank.


Old people more sexually active than anyone ever ever wants to think about, EVER



Picture: said&done

How far does alcohol breath carry?

It carried this guy all the way to court. BAZIIING!

Judge will decide if cop could really smell man's alcohol breath 7 feet away, and through a wall


Picture: Lynt

Old people furious!

You have to fight for your right to eat moldy doughnuts.

No matter how old you are. Damn ageist bastards, trying to take their day-old sweets. I ought to cane them.

Old people defend their right to eat whatever the hell they want to eat


Picture: Valerie Renee

You're never too old...

... to make dumb decisions.

I regret stopping playing with playdoh. Maybe I should go back...

59 year-old is playing college football
Picture: Richelleantipolo

8.22.2007

Those damn Japanese hippies


If we could turn discarded lipo-fat into fuel, we'd be set.

Japan contemplates converting chopsticks into biofuel



Picture: dbdbrobot

Barbie is a skank...

...and Mattel will have to learn to deal with that.


Porn Barbie is sued by Mattel








Picture: LittleGoldWoman

Cat genocide

Why are some people so gross? THEY should be euthanized.

76 cats found in disgusting apartment




Picture: kevindooley

8.21.2007

You still use EYES? REALLY?

Sight is for losers.

Blind woman gets hole in one





Picture: Petr Ruzicka

Japanese Robot Attack!

Spokesperson expresses surprise and sexism: "The machine isn't that strong, much less so than a muscular man. Even women should be able to beat it."

Those who were injured are now quite publicly shamed.

Japanese arm-wrestling machine recalled for breaking arms


Picture: soggydan

Bathrooms are overrated

I often soil myself, too.

Stop judging!

Man complains about urine-soaked seat in casino


Picture: liberalmind1012

Glad to be an American

...where at least I know my alphabet.

Chinese village experiences bad fortune, as computers can't process its name



Picture: Roland

8.20.2007

Bear Attack!

He got drunk and beared it all.

Man found naked and dead in Serbian zoo's bear cage. Beer festival blamed.


Picture: ShellieRaney

Old lady forgotten about. Nothing new here.

"She may have died," Amormino said. "It just seems to be a terrible oversight."

72 year-old accidentally locked in bank. She almost died without her diabetes medication.


Old people are like little kids - reminds me of this story
Picture: Jams_123

New moon, same old drunk witches

She was drunk, wearing headphones, burning tires, and in her underwear. But remember, "Wicca is a nature-based religion based on respect for the earth, nature and the cycle of the seasons."

42 year old witch arrested for performing obnoxious Wiccan ritual

Picture: NetLancer2006

Virginia is for gangstas

I think they should keep it. Balance out the cuteness with some badass overtones.

Virginia changes ad campaign, because it mimics "gang sign"


Picture: Vortistic

8.17.2007

Clones!



I smell conspiracy.

Woman has identical quadruplets, AKA secret gov't experiment is revealed


Picture: soundman1024

Girl has no friends

Thanks mom, for telling the Associated Press that I'm a loser.

8 year-old girl tries to escape hurricane on bike, fails



Picture: GISuser.com

Samurai white trash


I'm going to stab you with my samurai sword replica, donchyaknow.

Wisconsin couple holds up convenience store with sword








Picture: Coyote Jack

Chinese people are as crazy as us


I've always been a fan of ampersands... but the "@" symbol? That's barbaric.

Chinese couple attempt to name child, "@"






Picture: Old Sarge

Don't eat and drive

The first time I read it, I thought it said, "it was a nonfat incident"

harhar

Man saved by seatbelt heimlich

Picture: Ebruli

8.16.2007

This woman is cracked

The police were very unhelpful, in my opinion.

Woman complains to cops that the cocaine she bought was fake








Picture: the_kid_cl

It's time for change!

I'm glad his protest annoyed the right people - minimum wage local gov't workers and fellow taxpayers. He's getting things done!

Man fights the power: he pays his taxes in coins and $1 bills
Picture: Jeff Belmonte

New Delhi plans new deli treat

I prefer human soup - there's more meat on the cheeks.

New Delhi city councillor proposes sending stray dogs to Korea, to be made into soup








Picture: VirtualErn

I feel like I've seen this in a movie

I bet his mom is proud.

Man tried to rob nun who had taken a vow of poverty









Picture: mrpattersonsir

Meanie with hatchet

"Should we attack this animal?"
"Aye!" said the hatchet man.
"Neeeiigggh" said the horse.

Horse OK after getting hatchet between the eyes


Picture: Benimoto

8.15.2007

I'm going to hell


Is it bad that I cracked up at the image of the woman tossing the gasoline tank out the window, and missing?

It spread the fuel "everywhere."

Lawnmower explosion + house = no house




Picture: Tom Chambers

A new Robin Hood!

He steals from the rich, gives to himself, and kills cops. But it's ok, because he only kills cops to avoid being arrested.

He's pretty much a hero.

Modern Robin Hood finally caught
Picture: lanuiop

Bad 63 year-old! BAD!

Looks like he was milking himself.

Man accused of having sex with goat




Picture: mape_s